Public Notice

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Thanks to anyone who does it, it doesnt take a lot of time, you wont possibly lose anything, and you'll be helping me, which means i'll love you forever.

Wow. Finally in a good mood.

I get to see my uncle in 12 days, for the first time in 8 fucking years. I can't even remember 8 years ago.

I'm hoping Kate comes with him, i'll miss her if she doesnt.

Tell me your plans for the summer.

Ask me a question, i swear i'll answer honestly.

okay, go. (yeah, im bored)

ALISON AND TIM HAD SEX!

:0

p.s. i'll be single soon :( because im a fucking idiot.

Prom in 9 hoursss. hah, I'm such a girl.

I have aim now, because im uber cool

add me:

midnightshowsx

I just had an arguement with my mom. She left and told me that she wouldn't be comming back. I can't fucking stop crying. FUCK! I fuck everything up, I fuck up anything thats going good. I love her so much, more than i love anyone else, and now she fucking hates me. I hate myself too. I wish i was fucking dead. Theres no point in living just to fuck things up and hurt people. Why am i like this? I wish i had the courage to end it all now, i would, in a heartbeat, no second thoughts. I hate everything about my life, everything.

Why was i born? As some sort of punishment to my parents for something they did wrong in a past life? Thats the way it seems, it gets worse everyday.

If life is going to be this bad forever, I'd rather be dead.

Fuck everything.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Verse 3

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
 

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Chorus

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

yes, so im quoting lame saongs. sue me.

I'm putting myself up for adoption.


Is that even possible?

On a brighter note, I'm in love with my webcam.

My parents are pissing me off.

I've always gotten along with them, but lately, ugh.

My dad is an asshole. Hes a dishonest, selfish asshole who doesnt have a clue whats going on around him.

My mom refuses to trust me, though I've never given her a reason not to. I'm guilty until proven innocent with her, and theres no way of proving myself innocent. She'll believe anyone else before she'll believe me, and im always the one whos lying. I hate it.

I've been thinking a lot lately, about how much things have changed in the past few months. Especially in school, We arent on "the bench" with everyone anymore, were in an entirely different area, and its not the same crowd, its still me and kimmy, but thats all from the original group. Right now its us, along with isaac, price, shaun and hillary...weird.

And yesterday, Mark talks to me, i've never spoken to him before, he's 2 years ahead of me, so we dont have classes together or anything, and we barely ever see eachother.

There are 11 people in my school who are gay, i can think of 8. ( i goto one of those schools where everyone knows everyone)

Britney and hew crowd are going to a party tomorrow night, i know that theyre going to get themselves into trouble, i can see it comming. I don't know whos having the party, I havent heard about any actually, I'm guessing P, but who knows.

I need a dress for the grad, Casey offered me a ride into town but I doubt mom will let me, she over protective.

I want to goto the drama fest, i want to see the tribute to matthew and ashley, but im not entirely sure that i could handle it, im starting to let it go, and that would just stir everything up again.

I've been getting an extremely bad pain in my side lately, its not cool.

I want to move to the U.S So that i can get some stuff from interpunk. I have no friends/family in the US to send it to me, and they wont send it as a gift, so i'd have to pay duty, which would probably be expensive, though im not sure.

A lot of random people are talking to me lately, its odd.

Anyway, I have a ton of homework, so i'll be going now.

2 months and 11 days of saying "no".

One bad day with no one home to stop me, and it all starts again.

damn.

but your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours
and I starve for you.

come home now.

it makes me realise that i don't know what i'd do without you.

here come the waterworks.

Everyones leaving me for easter break. I could have gone with them, but mom's way too overprotective since the accident. I guess i can understand where shes comming from though. I'm almost finished redecorating, i'll post pictures when im finished. The crowd is comming over on tuesday night, i cant wait, its been so long..since December 28th to be exact. It wasn't until he moved that I realised Steve was the person who held our little unit of friends together. But thats changing now, its a new group, but with most of the same people. I like it.

Gahhhh, i have the flu. I was expecting it, I've been out almost every day/night for the past week, and its been freezing.

I have new neighbours. They don't have kids, thank god. Kids cannot be trusted around the pool, therefore i would have to have it covered all of the time. To much hassel.

I have 3 new pins, 40-60 cents each, which is awesome. I love them, I'm going with Isaac to buy more on Monday. I can't go alone, because i get lost in that bloody town. Its amazingly confusing, it seems like your just walking around in circles.

I got up early this morning to eat breakfast with mom before she went to work, we talked, it was nice.

I was in art class the other day and i hear a guy that I was once interested in, tell us how he needed a blank shirt for drama class, so he went to a second hand store, he put up his hood, ran in and ran out so that no one would see him in a second hand store. How messed up is that? How could someone be THAT superficial? I can't believe that I liked him, he also doesnt own a pair of shoes that cost less than $80. He shows us his "Timberlands" and says "These cost $250". I pull up my skirt and say "These cost $6". argh. some people.

Fuck off and leave me alone.

I don't care if you never talk to me again, actually, i hope that you don't.

I fucking hate you.

I can't believe that you would do this to me. Do you know whats really stupid? I believed you when you said that you cared about me.

I feel good, like really good. Better than i've felt in a long time. Isaac kissed me on Tuesday night, and well, we've been kissing a lot since that, i like it. we're together a lot, which is nice. Went to see Steve last night, he's fairly good, better than i had expected. On a sad note, tomorrow, it will have been two months, and two months ago today, they were still alive. I know it sounds selfish, but i want to forget. It doesn't seem like it was 2 months ago, more like 2 weeks. Okay, i feel like crap again now.

Bio test on tuesday, im really worried about it, i really think that i might fail, ive never failed anything, but i just dont get this stuff.

Gah, i hate how i can be extremely happy one minute and extremely unhappy the next.

It feels so good when someone says to you; "I don't know what i would do without you"


things are looking up.

Casey,
I lied. I do like him, a lot. I would say yes if he asked me, and i did get jealous when you were flirting.

But, i guess that wont happen anymore, because you didnt believe my lies, and you told me that you wouldnt flirt with him anymore.

I love how you can read me like a book.

I love you.

I FUCKING HATE YOU

when you act like this....